I heard back from the oncology nurse with my MRI report today. The news kinda sucks and frankly, I'm getting sick of shitty news.
The full size of the mass in the right breast is 5 cm (about 2 inches). That's um....kinda big. It's a bit of a magic number in the breast cancer world and puts me at at least stage 2, possibly stage 3, depending on what the the lymph nodes look like after some are removed in surgery.
It makes me wonder how I didn't notice. Now that I've been made aware in the last few weeks, I feel every. single. thing. happening in there. Every twinge, every sensitivity, every pain. Part of me wonders how I could have been so dense. It seems so obvious from here that something's not quite right, but I just assumed it was all normal aches and irritations. How could I have possibly known, especially when all my annual exams turn out fine? Speculation is pretty useless at this point, though, it's all in what I do about it now.
The MRI also showed that the left breast has a friend as well, though I certainly hesitate to call anything potentially invading my boobs 'friend'. A 7 mm friend, which is tee-tiny. I have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow to get a look at it. If I had to make a wager, I'd say it probably gets the biopsy treatment as well next week to determine exactly what it is and if it's related. The ultrasound appointment includes an extensive conversation with the radiologist AND my surgeon. My god at the list of questions I'll have for those two! (um, I should probably get on that...)
The bit of good news from today? My lymph nodes looked ok in the MRI. That's probably a very good thing, so I'm staying optimistic!
More news tomorrow, post ultrasound - not that it will really tell me anything, but I hope the doctors will have something good to say.
I guess my new profession here is Cancer's Boss (pronounced BAWS, please). My mission statement? "Get the fuck out, motherfucker."
You are totally going to make this thing die in a fire. I know you are.
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